Advice for dating your exhusband

Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush.

(I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.) Keep your friend's secrets.

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But I have some self-esteem issues surrounding my failed relationships.

And please, please, please -- give us an update when you know what's what. Should she risk the perfect friendship she has with the father of her children by asking him on a date?

Do you think he has feelings for her based on his close ties to her -- even when their kids aren’t involved? Anyone have a friendship like this with an ex-spouse?

They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.

What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.

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