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A really fabulous hen night ends with at least one of the group in a police cell, and the bride to be impregnated by a complete stranger.

When Dutch women decide to celebrate the marriage of one of their meisjes, it’s a thrilling and exciting affair.

In fact, if as an expat lady, you’re invited to attend such an event, (don’t hold your breath as it probably won’t happen) then standby for excitement!

What’s important for a Dutch hen party is that it’s gezellig and leuk.

I assume that the purpose of making such comments is to reduce me to tears by taking a swipe at people from the country of my birth.

Such messages leave me as cold as a Dutchman’s apartment in the middle of winter.

British antelope: “Jeroen, those bright green jeans you’re wearing are………a brave choice.

Perhaps though you should only wear them on very special occasions” “I love a man that’s careful with his money” “A weekend away in a caravan?

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But surely not all American girls thought British men had an endless supply of money?Extremely popular with meisjes from the provinces is the glamour photoshoot event.At this workshop, Dutch girls who have never worn heels, skirts or makeup before, get to learn how to look feminine. Thirty years from now Mariska will tell her children “I remember the only time in my life that I wore makeup and a skirt, and I have photos to prove it.” The women do have to sign a disclaimer that if they fall over and break their necks while wearing heels for the first time that the organisers can’t be held in anyway responsible. Queuing in shops, and loving the misfortune of others, sarcasm is part of the British DNA. Here are some helpful examples aimed at Dutch men who might be enjoying the pleasure of dating a British lady.If a bumbling buffoon like Hugh Grant could steal Julia Roberts' heart in It was the summer of 2006 when I first landed in New York as a 19-year-old, laden with warnings about American girls: they're high maintenance, my friends told me.I tried to brush this off—preconceptions are always dangerous when entering any sort of relationship.I’m pleased to say that even in 2015 that the traditions of the British aristocracy are still practiced.Decorum, manners and grace are all on display during typical weddings in the UK.Don’t shoot the exceptionally well dressed messenger.Freedom of speech is allowed in both the UK and the Netherlands.How romantic” Sadly, in spite of lots of classic British comedy being shown on Dutch television, sarcasm appears to be beyond the abilities of most of the locals.Instead of sarcasm, a primitive combination of rudeness and bluntness is deployed like a caveman wielding a club. “You must love it here in Holland, I’ve been to your country and it’s quite backwards” “It’s nice that you made the effort to learn Dutch, but you speak it so badly that we should just speak English” “you expats always go out and drink after work because you have no real friends here” Following the thrilling vrijgezellenfeest, the typical Dutch wedding can be a bit of anti-climax.

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