It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering.The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups.There’s always something better.” “If you had a reservation somewhere and then a table at Per Se opened up, you’d want to go there,” Alex offers.“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. ” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling.You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance …“It’s tied into what a person’s goals are and what’s going to meet his or her needs at a certain time.” While a shallow relationship can have its benefits, it also has its downfalls Nahal Rosen, a senior at the University of California, Santa Cruz, said that she has always had a crush on one of her best guy friends, who also happens to be her hook-up buddy at times.But while they do connect on a deeper, less superficial level, Rosen is reluctant to take the next step.“I try to distance myself from him when I find myself getting too attached because I don’t want a relationship,” she said.
Dan and Marty, also Alex’s roommates in a shiny high-rise apartment building near Wall Street, can vouch for that. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. And yet a lack of an intimate knowledge of his potential sex partners never presents him with an obstacle to physical intimacy, Alex says.
And while being in a shallow relationship may not be for everyone, this type of relationship has its benefits—and dangers– if both partners are looking for a fun time, with no-strings-attached.
Leandro Severo, a junior at Loyola Marymount University, said he is very happy with his shallow relationship.
Coleman advised people to move on and find someone else if they are not happy with a shallow relationship, or, to simply put it out there if they wish to seek a deeper connection with their partner.
But don’t feel too heavy-hearted if the outcome is not the one you hoped for; “If you start sharing more about yourself, and then your partner puts up a wall and pulls a Houdini act on you, then they just weren’t that into you,” said Coleman.